Toy Box

The holiday season begins early at the City Mission. Churches and businesses, individuals and families, each call in asking, “What can we do? What can we buy? What do you need?”

We have an answer for all these questions, as there is always something to do, something to buy and someone in need. And for those who instinctively know, year after year, they just come, with cars full, bags full and hearts full, filling in the gaps where it matters the most.

In early November we had a particularly busy day of deliveries at the Family Life Center, anything from baby diapers and blankets, to children’s toys and personal care items. Staff members pawed through the items and put aside what could be used by the women and children.

A few guests from the men’s shelter volunteered to pile the remaining donations on a metal card and wheel it over to the City Mission Thrift Store.

Unbeknownst to any of the staff or residents at the FLC, a large toy box was placed on the cart, along with bags of sweaters, shoes and kitchen items. An old blue wooden box with a tattered canvas top looked no different than the collection of odds and ends to be sold at the thrift store.

No one suspected that what was inside the box might be the contents of someone else’s past and the bridge into their future. However, a young woman at the Family Life Center had been anxiously awaiting the delivery of the toy box, a remnant of her childhood filled with personal effects that had been in storage for several years.

Prior to entering the FLC, the young woman was serving a two-year prison sentence, separated from her two small children and asking herself every question that an incarcerated nineteen year-old single mother might ask, “What has become of my life? How will I ever change my future? Is it possible?”

Fortunately, this young woman decided it was possible - to start a new life and begin again. Having now graduated from the City Mission’s Freedom Academy program, this young woman is a caring and compassionate friend and mother, holding down her first paying job and reconnecting with her family. Her future will be challenging, but she has support.

One person who has supported her is a close family friend and also the godmother of her five-year old daughter. The friend had offered to retrieve the young woman’s belongings from storage, including a dusty toy box, and also provide several gifts for her children for the holidays.

The recovery of a rather tattered toy chest meant the world to this young woman, as it symbolized her own personal recovery and also the encouragement and generosity of her family and friends.

To some, a toy box filled with children’s shoes, toy trucks, books and some old jewelry, may not be incredibly significant. But to this young woman, these items were priceless.

The box included Christmas gifts that she would wrap and personalize for her children, showing them that people care about their family. In the toy box, she also awaited a small rhinestone ring from her childhood that she looked forward to giving her daughter.

When the box arrived, the young woman was out of the building and it was placed in the front lobby of the FLC until she returned. When she entered the building, she asked excitedly whether the box had arrived. However, in the rush of morning activity, no one had seen the box, what was in it, or where it was taken, much less what it represented to this young woman.

After several phone calls and a great deal of anxious waiting, it was discovered that the toy box had been accidentally brought to the storage room of the City Mission thrift store.

The young woman sat slumped in the FLC lobby, waiting for any news on whether the box had been identified in the donation warehouse. After scouring the warehouse and viewing footage from the overhead surveillance camera, it was ultimately determined that the box was loaded unto the truck carrying unsellable items to the dump.

“How could this have happened?” the young woman pleaded. “There were brand new boots, toys and even a jewelry box with a ring for my daughter.”

It was an innocent mistake, but one that hurt deeply to someone for which pain and loss is a recurring event.

After much deliberation and sheer disappointment, the young woman accepted that the toy box was gone and with it the special items that her friend had collected, items from her past, gifts for her children, each meaningful and significant to a woman who had painstakingly rebuilt her life.

The young woman was unmistakably upset, however not once did she blame anyone who was involved. She was deeply saddened but did not express any anger or resentment. Remarkably, by the end of the day, she had accepted the loss, moving forward and thinking of all the ways she felt grateful for what she did have.

This young woman responded to this unfortunate loss with such maturity and emotional balance. Having witnessed only the ending result, it caused me to pause and ask myself, how would I have reacted if I was in her shoes.

Imagine your most significant personal belongings, each collected by a loved one, placed in a box and delivered to you, after being held for years in storage. Imagine the anticipation of being reacquainted with photos, old journals, diplomas, keepsakes, each one with a story and a memory, and waiting for their arrival.

Imagine learning that the box had arrived at your doorstep but was taken out with the trash just before you came home. Imagine how you might feel learning that the items were gone, even before you had a chance to grasp them in your hands. I would be devastated.

I would be even more distraught if what I was reconnecting with were objects that symbolized how far I had come in my life, especially if that journey meant starting from scratch and searching for the self I never knew.

For this young woman, such a reality was a hard lesson. She was asked to let go of the material items that connected her to the few positive aspects of her past. It was also a painful spiritual lesson, reminding her of what G-d asks us to let go of in order to draw closer to Him.

Maybe offering that ring to her daughter was a way of making up for the fact that she was in jail when her daughter was a baby. Maybe the new toys were a hopeful attempt to show her children that she could provide for them, especially during the holidays.

It is not wrong that she desperately wanted the items in that toy box. But in their absence, what she was able to recognize were the gifts that had already been provided, spiritual gifts that cannot be contained in a box nor can they be discarded or destroyed.

It is a testament to this young woman’s personal growth that she was able to recognize what she already has in a moment that spoke only of loss. And while this young woman may continue to attach valuable memories to those objects and keepsakes, maybe this Christmas she will be able to create new memories for her and her children.

Maybe this Christmas, she will turn more wholeheartedly to G-d to heal the wounds between her and her family. Maybe this Christmas she will recognize in a more profound way that G-d is the true provider.

And maybe, hopefully, this unfortunate experience will remind her that G-d is the redeemer for herself and her past, rather than a box of toys whether lost or found.